The Dog Days of Winter

You see that face? That face equals me as I work my way through these dog days of winter. It seems to be I've hit a slum.  The things just pile up and up.  Every time it seems I cross something off of the list, three more things get added to it.  Every time I think there's light at the end of the tunnel, it's really just a light painted onto the brick wall I just ran into.  Each year seems to be a roller coaster and the bottom of the lowest valley is this time of year, but this year seems so much worse than the others.  In fact, it is a roller coaster... it's this roller coaster:

And rather than there being a track to spin me around under, I'm just falling.  Lost in all the little things.  The little things at work.  The little things at home. The little things outside my home.  My tech crew.  My play.  My class.  My low kids.  My gifted kids.  The middle kids.  All the kids in my rotations.  Our field trip.  The science fair.  Report cards.  Grading papers.  Teaching. Planning. Cleaning the classroom.  Making new seating arrangements.  Discipline. Positive reinforcement. My sanity.  The little things seems to be making all the difference as they add up and bring me down.

I have definitely hit a slum.

I was observed in my classroom today. Before the days end, I got an e-mail from my principal telling what she observed while she was there.  This is what I saw in her e-mail:

"Is **** okay.... he's lying down
5 Students lying down...
4 students lying down...
I see the 'I'
We're missing the 'we'
Students should be working through it with you
Students are yawing...they seem tired
**** is not participating.
Students are slouching."

Negative.  Negative. Negative.  I'm in a slum as it is and everything appears to be negative.  Maybe I'm doing something wrong. Maybe it's getting the best of me.  Maybe I'm not cut out.  Many thoughts run through my head.

The day finally gets to an end.  I take care of my after school things and before I leave for the day I walk down to the principal's office.  She has me step in and says, "Hey Aaron! What can I do for you?"  I look her in the eye and do something I never do....

If things aren't going my way, I make them.  If things are going wrong, I figure it out. If something is broken, I fix it.  It's always been my thing that no matter what is going wrong, I can problem solve my way through it.  I don't need help.  I can figure it out.  I'm strong.  Asking for help is a weakness, and I can't appear weak, because once you're the weakest link, well, goodbye!

So I looked my principal in the eyes and I said to her, "I'm in a slum right now.  I need you to tell me I'm doing a good job..."

Before I tell you her response, I want to bring you back to the observation form that was e-mailed to me.  What I wrote earlier was what I saw...it was the only parts my mind was letting me see.

"I see you doing some 'I'
Now I'm seeing 'we'
You are smiling and laughing.
You are saying 'Can I see it?'
You are checking and monitoring student work...yea!
Choral responses - 16
Looks like student has written 'think abouts' for two step equations - way cool
Get the answer in your head - call and response
'Say it one more time' - polishing choral response - great!
Thanks for letting me visit your class today!"

My principal's response was overwhelming praise.  She looked at me and said, "Of course you are, Aaron. You are a point in your teaching where you are doing great, and I'm just trying to give you that push to make you that much better!"

Just as much as it's the little things can bring you down, the little things can bring you up.  It's the little things that make all the difference. If you look for the negative, you're going to find it.  You're going to hit that slum, trudge through the mud and get stuck in it.  You have to look for the positive.  Make the best of the down days. Focus on the positive things in life and you're sure to pounce through the dogs days of winter with a smile on your face!